This year’s Trans Awareness Week falls between November 13-19 2024, but people who are trans deserve support and understanding regardless of the time of year.
FAIRER Consulting’s Barry Boffy shares a personal account of how he became a trans ally, followed by tips on how we can better support our trans friends and colleagues.
Barry shares "In 1992, as a young gay man coming to terms with my sexuality in a very hostile West Midlands, I met someone who would change my life forever. I met 'Martin' (name and pronouns are correct as of the time) on the Birmingham gay scene. Martin knew he was different and, after getting to know him over a few months, he confided in me a secret... he was a "transvestite" (his words). He told me he'd grown his hair long, shaved his arms and legs and made a point of saying "I'm not gay".
Little did I know that this was the beginning of a journey for Martin that I didn't understand but accepted without question. What I (and he) came to realise was that 'Martin' was actually transgender, but over 30 years ago, there was no place for the trans community on the gay scene. They simply weren't welcome, and there was certainly no positive visibility or representation for trans people anywhere in society.
To find a community to be a part of Martin had adapted and created a version of himself that was "palatable": one that presented as male so as to fit in to the then deeply divided and segregated gay scene. I lost touch with Martin in my late teens as I went off to university, but saw the beginning of their social transition, so I have no idea what their journey has been like, whether they ever felt able to be who they truly are or if they found the community and support that they needed. I truly hope so. (I've moved my pronoun usage to "they" purposefully, as I have no idea where 'Martin's' journey ended.)
I think back to 'Martin' often, particularly as I continue to offer my unrelenting allyship to gender-diverse, trans and non-conforming communities in my work. Martin was the spark that started my journey to understanding, supporting and then passionately advocating for the trans community. Something I have been doing now for 30+ years as a trans ally. This week is Trans Awareness Week. I wish that 'Martin' had had the same strong, resilient, passionate and visible gender-diverse and trans communities that I have had the pleasure of working alongside, 30 years ago when we met.
Truly visible and vocal advocates, activists and their allies are so needed right now, and we cannot return to a society that openly legislates against, oppresses or marginalises the community to the point of silence or invisibility. Sadly, it's now obvious we're heading in that direction. As an ally, one who is committed and has been for 30+ years, I will always offer my platform and amplify the voices and concerns of gender-diverse people and, if I have the power to do so, make real and lasting change.
I don't ever want us to be in the same position that 'Martin' was 30 years ago: alone, conforming, disconnected and desperately seeking friendship and community from a hostile, disinterested and openly prejudiced society. #IStandWithTrans in the name of 'Martin' and all the other Martins that I've had the pleasure of working with."
Six tips to help you to be an ally to trans or gender-diverse people
| 1. Educate yourself: take the initiative to learn about trans identities, issues, and experiences. This can involve reading articles, attending workshops, participating in training sessions or speaking to gender-diverse or trans people about their own lived experiences. However, remember to always remain respectful in your curiosity. |
| 2. Use correct pronouns: always use a person’s self-identified pronouns. If you’re unsure, politely ask or use gender-neutral pronouns until you know for certain. |
| 3. Challenge transphobia: speak up against transphobic comments or behaviours. Create a culture where discrimination or prejudice is not tolerated. |
| 4. Support transitioning employees: be understanding and flexible with employees who are transitioning. This might include updating HR records, adjusting dress codes, or providing time off for medical appointments. |
| 5. Implement inclusive policies: ensure that company policies are inclusive of trans people. This includes using inclusive language, non-discrimination policies, healthcare benefits, and facilities access. |
| 6. Visible support: show your support for the trans community visibly, even if you’re unaware of any trans employees. This could be through participating in Trans Awareness Week or displaying trans-inclusive symbols. |
If you would like to learn more about making your workplace an inclusive and psychologically safe place, please get in touch.
